In the grand scheme of things however, I am grateful.
My gratitude covers a great deal of places in my life including the following:
- My mom is still here and I get to see and be with her every day. With her EVERY day is a gift.
- My health is good - I have arms, legs, hands, eyes, and ears that work and allow me to experience everything in this world - pleasant and unpleasant.
- I live in the Willamette Valley Oregon, which in my mind is a splendid place to reside and make a life. The climate is mild, the sales tax is non-existent, the pacific ocean is just 50 miles away and then during the summer I get to take my camera to:
- The Tulip fields see http://www.woodenshoe.com/
- The Iris Farm see http://www.schreinersgardens.com/
- The Peony Farm see http://peonyparadise.com/
- The Dahlia Farm! see http://www-dahlias-com.netsolads.com/
- My 1998 Honda Accord with almost 193,000 miles still runs and gets me to where I need to be.
The last 4 months of unemployment have been difficult, depressing and challenging to say the least, but it has also been a time for me to take stock of myself, what I am doing with my life and what I want to do as I enter my 6 decade of life. This is a good thing for me ultimately.
The last 7+ years coming home to be with my parents has, in retrospect been the hardest and most fulfilling decision I ever made in my whole life. Really.
My morning mantra has been (thanks to Anne Lamott):
Help me Help me Help me
A couple of days ago, it was grey and rainy and dreary (okay so it isn't always perfect here) and as I was driving down White Oak Road I was drawn to a large space in the field to my left where the bright sun was streaming through an opening in the clouds. The trees in the middle of the field were bright and intensely lit up! I so wanted to stop and take a photo, but alas I did not have my camera in the car with me. Instead I thought of the fact that no matter how bleak and dark and dreary it seems - a bright ray of light can still shine through.
I know, I know that sounds all pollyanna-ish - but at the time it was a good reminder to me that I'm still here, getting out of bed every morning, taking each breath - and saying:
thank you thank you thank you.
