Friday, January 15, 2010

breaking buildings and breaking hearts...

I'm on a self-prescribed retreat at the Oregon coast. I am in heaven.
I left work early and got here by 4pm. The weather is very stormy and grey. ahhh the Oregon coast in January.
I'm staying at a hotel located directly across the street from the beach house my aunt owned for so many years, until she passed away and it somehow got away from the family.
I went for a short walk on the beach when I got here. The weather was grey and rainy with rain blowing in my face. The beach still held so many memories of the summer I spent here when I was 13 years old.
I don't have to keep to a schedule, or talk to anyone if I prefer, except I'm watching the news on CNN and MSNBC to see all coverage on the devasting earthquake in Haiti. I'm grateful to be here in the quiet and on my own, yet my heart breaks for the people in Haiti.
I hope to spend the weekend re-acquainting myself with my Canon 40D.  It has been so long since I even picked it up that I can hardly remember how to use it.
I need to get back to my art. still I took my point and shoot out on the beach and played around. The place where I'm staying is on the left.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Preparing for a new year

And new challenges.
2009 was filled with:
Uterine cancer - full abdominal hysterectomy
Chron's disease resurfacing
Tech writing job becoming more hectic and challenging
Dad falling and cracking some ribs - found out it was a bad UTI. His Parkinson's is slowly eroding his physical abilities (loss of balance, incontinence, falling) and his mental capabilites (forgets where he is, can't find the kitchen, forgets to eat with utensils, freaks out when he can't see mom for 10 minutes, forgets where the bedroom is, can't pee into the toilet correctly) and so on.....
Mom struggling with depression and control issues - diagnosed with Congestive heart failure in October and has given up on life in some ways. Had to take her off her antidepressant due to the heart meds, and now she can't remember anything and is VERY depressed. Her short term memory is shorter than ever.
She obsesses about stuff and moves REALLY slow.
But I still love them - dad has the most wonderful sense of humor still, and mom is still very interested in the world and wants to know what is going on.
And they both tell me how grateful they are that I'm here. It helps when they say 'thank you' - then I know they are still here.
Our two caregivers have saved my life and I'm sooo grateful to them.
tomorrow I list out my resolutions - maybe if they are on paper (okay, the web) I will be forced to follow them, or at least try. So 2010 - here I/we come!
A few of my favorite photos from 2009.